(Above: photo outside my backyard of the pigeons cuddling together to stay warm this winter)
Well, I apologize for being so absent lately! I'm back, I'm here and I'm ready!
There has been buckets of things for me to do lately. Things that seem to steal my attention + then I seem to be transported into some fairy ring, where months + months fly by in seconds. How does that happen!? hehe
Staying busy is something I just do, it's part of who I am. Staying busy, accomplishing tasks + projects leaves me with a sense of fulfillment + productivity. And we need that to keep us motivated, feeling we have a purpose + to move towards our goals in the future.
I've been busy living life! Working, taking care of myself, learning new ways in which I connect in this world, through meditation + teachings. Lots of moon-gazing + nature walks in the snow... so much to dive into, learn + grow.
I've been busy learning the new world of being a meaning-filled, compassionate + self loving vegan.
This adventure has been newly added into my life, or rather discovered by looking within + realizing what truly feels right to me personally, what follows in line with my values, my beliefs. And let me tell you, it's been an amazing transformation filled with empowerment, a deep sense of gratitude + love for this world's inhabitants, and has brought me so much closer to the root of who I am. Peeling that onion layer by layer to discover more + more.
I've been buy writing, introspecting on the past + learning how to let go let go let go...
This journey of letting go? It's exhausting. It's time consuming. It's necessary + it's grand.
Babysitting. Training for an triathlon. Kissing my husband...
Oh, and there's so much more.
But focusing on what's most important is the tough part. Often I find myself washing dishes at 11pm when I should be in bed catching up on much needed beauty sleep. Ugh. But those dishes ain't gonna wash themselves...
I was recently in a car crash, a hit and run, leaving me with a confused sense of anger + disappointment in the nature of humans. How can someone literally hit you, set off air bags, damage a car to the point it's no longer drive-a-ble, and simply drive away, going on with their day as if it doesn't even matter? It has been a frustrating week with these thoughts circling in my head, besides trying to figure out how to get transportation in my daily life.
Even though I have a right to be angry, upset + confused by the actions of this person who hit me, I know the festering will not help the situation. Most suffering comes from the thinking/worrying about the situation rather than the situation in itself.
I have control over how I react. I chose to not suffer.
So I take the city bus + have a bus adventure daily. I am learning a new way to adjust, to get by, to live without the car I relied on so much. Now I must plan out my day far in advance, dress according to the weather in layers + layers. Now I get to listen to my I POD music while someone drives me home. Now I get to become more connected with my fellow city peoples. Now I don't have to worry about parking, or getting hit by another car :D Now I get to learn the what-to-do's in the process of getting my car fixed. New experience = learning.
It will be a process, but in the end I hopefully will be laughing at the situation + remember the bus adventure time of my life.
Trying to find the reason this happened to me?
What was the hidden message in it?
What am I supposed to learn from this?
Well, maybe there's no message. Maybe I'm just riding the river of life + going through another new experience. That's it. That's all. That's enough.
Because life is just that: unpredictable + confusing.
But it's also wonderful + grand + joy-filled in the little moments + extraordinary.
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